Nigeria: The Yahoo Yahoo Nation!
— Abel Babatunde
Nigeria, arguably the most prosperous black nation on earth has become appositely known for negativities in recent times. It is as if a spell had been cast on the land. A step forward and a thousand steps backward is a way to describe the progress ( if there is any ) achieved by a country that celebrated her 61st anniversary as an independent nation last October.
Everything in Nigeria seems to be working at a direct opposite, and one wonders where to begin. Nigerian society has been evolving albeit negatively more than on positive grounds. Ours is now a country of yahoo yahoo. Even the illiterates, artisans and the aged all have their different wings of the yahoo syndicate. It is not uncommon for mothers to take their sons to a successful area yahoo boy for tutelage. “e ba mi ko omo ni yahoo” — this is not a joke at all.
It is almost as if there is a national awareness campaign about the madness of this thing called “yahoo”. If you ask even a primary school pupil the question about “yahoo”? You will be surprised at the answer you’d get. The sad reality today is that our societal models are the yahoo guys. On the streets, you see different hairstyles of dreads like that of a mad person — all in the name of yahoo. Then I ask, is it a must to wear dreads or keep long beards as a yahoo guy?
Unfortunately, society has come to embrace this madness. “Owonikoko” ( it’s money that matters ). People do not care about the source of the wealth anymore. One even sang it “Ole lo bomoje, k’emi sa ti lowo ( I can get rich anyhow except through stealing ). What is yahoo if not stealing? Surprisingly, yahoo has now been legitimized to an extent. Someone once said, “thank God for this yahoo — yahoo of a thing, the spate of armed robbery has drastically reduced “. Instead of carrying guns, people take to their computers, and before you know it, a millionaire is made. Oya! Let’s go to the bar. That’s it, nothing more.
Well some yahoo — yahoo guys, the smart ones still try to invest. Although, not necessarily an investment in that regard though, but to create an alibi for their unexplainable wealth. Inside a public vehicle recently, a conversation ensued between the driver and the occupant of the front seat. The driver spoke about how profitable it is to be a transporter especially at a particular time of the year plying a particular border road. The driver said he can even compete with the yahoo guys around that time. However, he said that dream can only be actualized if the vehicle is in good shape. For that, he had started courting a yahoo guy in his area to buy him a new car ( tokunbo ) while he repays on instalments. The driver confessed that many of the cars in town that people board as a means of transportation are proceeds of yahoo — yahoo. O God, have mercy!
Meanwhile the yahoo yahoo is at all levels, although with different modus operandi. In Nigeria, our political leadership is nothing but a cycle of yahoo — yahoo gangsters. Official corruption has become a normal part of our society. Everyday we hear stories of billions being stolen or stashed away in foreign lands. Yet, we complain of lack of funds to carry out developmental projects. Truth be told, the behaviour of the political class is an incentive for laxity and misdemeanor of many young Nigerians.
Except one is rich, as in stupendously rich, ready to pay party chieftains and street urchins, one cannot easily get the nomination of a political party let alone winning an election in Nigeria of today. It is very rare for such to happen. The attitude of the voter’s too does not help matters. But, can we talk of attitude in the face of extreme poverty? The moment you express an intention to contest, then you have become the ATM. You’re doomed if you cannot meet their demands. You will hear comments like “this one is not ready”. It doesn’t matter to them the good intentions of such a person.
Since it is the money that matters, then, a yahoo — yahoo guy can get the resources to buy positions and make it into a position of authority. They can sponsor a candidate if they feel like not contesting and get a juicy position in government after the election. We can count about two or more appointees of our present day government in Ogun state that have turned out to be a wire — wire. It is a pity! There are many such people in every local government and every state in Nigeria that are yet to be uncovered, and which may not be uncovered.
The countries of the world are wary of Nigerians at the moment. Almost all the international internet fraudsters caught in recent times are of Nigerian descent. From the unknown to the well known in society. We see them and we hear of them. Both the civilians and the men in uniform. No institution is spared. They are in the judiciary — guess the avalanche of controversial court injunctions here and there. This is why the fight against corruption cannot yield any significant success in Nigeria because anywhere you turn to, there is always a comrade in crime, and these criminals must definitely protect themselves.
There is another version of yahoo which is even worse. You see it in supposedly holy places in the name of miracles and signs and wonders. Sadly, people will gullibly run to such places for a non — existent miracle. O ma se o! To such people that call themselves man of God, using the name of God to exploit people, remember this: I come quickly, and my rewards is with me, to give every man according as his works shall be. Well, as things stand today, except we kill Yahoo, Yahoo will kill Nigeria.